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Reggie's count down to the Big 4-0!

March 2009
 
Forty is coming fast---two months. I am excited and I'm surprised that I am this excited about it!  It's a peaceful, looking forward to excitement.  I've had the value of "anticipation" going strong since the beginning of the year.  It's serving me well so far despite the fact that I did not have an intention around it.  It just came out of my mouth....obviously from my heart the way its been serving me and I've been waking to it and ending each and every day with it.  Ya know, there really always is much to anticipate regardless of a big birthday or the economy or a new seasons arrival.
 
A friend of my is turning 50 in July (not Kari) and she shared with me that she's been doing one thing a month to celebrate herself as she draws closer to fifty.  Just last month she started singing lessons!  It got me thinking what would I do each month to celebrate myself?  What a good question for each of us to ask don't ya think?  I think the better question is why are we waiting for these darn birthdays to do so? 
 
When I turned 39, I started making a list of 40 things that I would do before turning 40.  Well, that got narrowed down to four things under each of the 5 "H's" and now, two months out, I say......ONE thing.  This ONE thing came to me when I was treating my heart to its first silent retreat weekend.  So, wanna know what the ONE thing is?  It's the biggest gift to give yourself and the gift that gives back in many ways and the hardest gift to give to yourself and the easiest gift to receive and the gift that I NEVER would have thought of in a million years.  Are you kidding me?  Where's the excitement in it?  Where's the gathering and fellowship and music?  There's one more thing that I know about it.  It's the gift that is needed most which also makes it the gift that is wanted most.  Yes, WANTED!!  It's the gift of SILENCE!!!!
 
Every two weeks I will gift myself with a day of SILENCE!  You're surprised aren't ya?  Not very sexy or popular is it? 
 
How great is it to be comfortable enough in my own skin and heart to feel proud to say that I want to be with me....that I'm good in the silence.  There's so much in the SILENCE!  The biggest factor being the ease of being more able to recognize and commune with God.  What else is there?  My heart is running over.....it feels like I've just found gold....I feel like I've just come across the biggest life secret or success tip ever!  Yes, SILENCE!!!  Are you getting it?  This now feels like air or water or sleep to me....and we all know how much we need them.
 
I wonder if I would've come to this if my health wasn't as strong as it is now.  This health journey has been such a distraction for too many years.  When I think what I've missed because of its consuming ways, it generates lots of unfortunate feelings.  Thank God that's no longer the case.  My health has been strengthened because of a newly found self-respect, which is coming from the doses of graceous humbling I am extending myself.  Oh, the rewards of humbling oneself. 
 
I wonder if I would've come to this if I wouldn't have spent 48 hours sitting by the bedside of my unconscious ex-hubby in July.  There's nothing more silent than the middle of the night in a hospital room.  Its a silence above the ventilator....above the tears....and prayers.  What if I couldn't have sat there in its silence?  Looking back one of the things I am taking away from this experience is that nothing else matters in that silence except being in the moment.     
 
The other day when I was in the coffee shop I noticed this gal across from me sitting in her chair and her leg was shaking in a bouncing up and down way.  I thought to myself that used to be me...not able to sit still.  Oh, hear me when I say.....I love the freedom to be able to sit still now.  I love the freedom in not having to talk or be with noise.  I love the freedom in SILENCE.  I feel grateful to know the difference that self-respect makes.  And, I will respect the fact that it took me almost forty years to learn enough about it to do MORE about it.  I'm there now and there's no looking back!
 
In silence,
 
Reggie

 

November 2009

It's interesting in and of itself that I even have a count down to turning 4-0! I am choosing to believe that this is my way of CELEBRATING its arrival. Is that true?

Its interesting that I'm the girl who's made it a production out of NOT telling my age since I was 19. I learned this way back in my Mary Kay days when Mary Kay Ash told us that "a woman who tells her age will tell everything." Anyone who knows me knows that I already share EVERYTHING....why not my age? I guess it just seemed so "vogue" when Mary Kay spoke it.

Its interesting to me that the hardest birthday so far has been turning 25! To me back then, that was OLD! Old in the sense of taking on "adult" responsibility and getting more "serious" about life. Can you tell that I was pregnant then? In reality, I always have been more responsible and serious than people 10 years or older than me.

Its interesting because turning 30 was not hard for me. In fact, it was quite the opposite....very liberating. I embraced the new decade as a new chapter with open arms. My divorce was finalized around this same time. Although it could be argued that this was the reason for the new sense of liberation I was feeling, what I know for sure is that I was filled with HOPE and POSSIBILITIES. Maybe I could finally understand and see what the piles of books I read over and over said about living.....the sky is the limit...what you think about you bring about....focus on the bigger picture......don't give up....the choice is yours.....so I choose Reggie's Coaching Academy! Yes, its now ten years strong! Praise God....and THANK YOU!

Its interesting because turning 38 was actually harder than turning 39. I believe this was because I kept thinking there's only one more year after this one before the year of the BIG ONE! I actually claimed on my 39th that it was the best birthday so far. And, it was! Many values were honored on that day....hey, isn't that what birthdays are suppose to be about anyways? Hey, isn't that what every day is suppose to be about?

So far, 39...a true roller coaster of the most high-highs and the most low-lows. There has been much gained, learned and blessed and the same amount lost and grieved. Its been a challenge unlike any year.....its like I'm pushing my way out of the cocoon....there's lots to get through and its hard and confusing and endless and adventurous and energizing and the ultimate form of self-care.

I'm not sure that I'll be a butterfly by the big 4-0, however, I will be more courageous and connected to an even deeper conscious, authentic life.

You can watch me journey through the five H's....I will be working on FOUR (for 40!) value-based focuses for each of the five H's. The five H's are: heart, head, hands, haven and health.

Stay tuned,

Reggie