Kari's Countdown to 50!

This whole countdown to 50 came about as I was reading Reggie's Countdown to 40 and had a different viewpoint about one of the very 1st things that she said. As I continued to read, I got more and more excited. As much as I was looking forward to Reggie's perspectives over the next 6 months, I was also thinking how fun it would be to have a forum of my own somewhere where I could share my thoughts and feelings as I approached 50. The first ideas that were in mind that I would like to share concerned health - more specifically some of the bodily changes I've been noticing over the last year and a little longer. I also have some changes I'd like to make and goals to achieve by 50; and boy, I certainly would have to be accountable to myself if I had women from all over the country following my progress!

Reggie was gracious enough to allow me to join her in her countdown. At times, it may be a point/counterpoint type of thing. At other times I'm sure I'll have a unique perspective. Along the way I hope to give you some food for thought, maybe do some educating and hopefully provide some amusement. Although I still may focus a little more on the health/body side of things than the other H's, I'll touch on each of them at some point.

So, what was that first thing that Reggie said that started all this? It was her comment about it being so chic or vogue when Mary Kay said a woman who would tell her age would tell everything. At the same time that Reggie was being told this, I had two different examples. One was Tiffany, the founder and owner of my company, who said something to the effect that "If a woman won't tell her age, people will wonder what else she is hiding." The second was my great-grandmother who was in her 80's at this time, and proud of it! When she would meet someone she would say (all in one breath) "It's nice to meet you, I'm Hattie Mae and I'm 86!" Although I learned that you can be proud of your age from her, she hated being called a "little old lady", even though she was under 5 feet tall. She'd counter with "I may be little and I may be old, but I'm not sure that I'm a lady!" I was amused by this because I always saw her as the 'proper English woman'. Many of my current beliefs (some of which I'm examining in my GUTS work) come from her example. For instance, even though 50 is around the corner, I really haven't given any serious thought to retirement. After all, this great-grandmother went to work at age 44 to 'help out for a few days' and retired 44 years later at age 88! Perhaps this is why I have always been the person who couldn't understand why people would get upset over the "big birthdays". When someone was dreading 30 or 40, I usually wasn't very sympathetic, pointing out to them that "What's the big deal? You're still just going to be one day older on that day than you were the day before, just like every other day of your life." I hope I can keep that attitude by the time next June rolls around ;)

Reggie mentioned in her column how certain years have been tougher than others, with her last year being very much of a roller coaster. In this way we have some similarities. My past year has also been one ups and downs, with several extremely happy occasions and a couple that were very sad. Interestingly enough, those sad events could have been devastating, but instead they have really just made me very reflective. Perhaps this acceptance has come with the wisdom gained from hanging around this earth for 50 years, or perhaps from my GUTS work, but either way I'm grateful for it. It's very freeing to realize that things are as they are supposed to be.

As I was pondering what I wanted to include in this first column, I had a huge "AHA" moment. I was running through many of the bodily changes I was going to mention at some point. Things like the fact that my hair now falls out like leave from a tree on a windy fall day; how difficult it has been to adjust to my new (second, stronger) bifocals; my shock the first time my stylist said that we'd better add a few more lowlights than usual to cover the gray - gray?; experienciing my own private summers; the hail damage that remains on my butt and legs no matter how vigilant I am with diet and exercise; my belief now that they only good use for a bed is for SLEEPING! I was getting concerned that everything that I was going to address was negative. No sooner did I have that thought than I had the AHA that followed it . . . "Wait a minute, why do we perceive these as negative?" Really, these changes are just a part of the natural process, like many other changes that have occurred over the years, why do we put a negative connotation on them? Yes, there are some changes that really are concerns healthwise; but the fact that I need a bra with a little more push-up and a stronger anti-wrinkle cream are not. Why can't we just say 'so what' and think of them the same as other changes we've already experienced such as getting teeth, learning to walk, our first period, getting hair on our head, getting hair in other places, or needing our first bra?

Having these AHA moments happens much more often these days. I seem to be more and more aware of my surroundings, beliefs, the way that people phrase things and why do we take it to mean what it does? Again, whether this is from GUTS training or the aging process or just experience building on experience, I can't say, but it is a recent change that I embrace. I look forward to sharing more of my insights on haven, heart, head, hands and yes, health and body with you over the coming months. Perhaps something I say will help you to have your own AHA moment, or reflect on some of your beliefs on your own aging process, no matter what state of it you may be in.

Until next time, take good care of yourself - you deserve it!

Kari "Smilin" Kilen